Mums on the edge

Becoming a new mother can be a shock to the system, particularly when combined with financial difficulties and a lack of moral support. But the Genesis project is helping parents to escape a cycle of depression...

“It made me feel a lot more confident. I can now say to myself, you’re not that bad a parent.” These are the words of Sam, one of the single mothers who has benefited from the Genesis project in the Welsh Rhondda Valley, designed to get young, isolated and less well off parents back into education, training or employment. It’s a sentiment shared by many of the mums involved in the programme, whose under confidence often stems from economic instability or a difficult home life. Without support, it’s difficult for them to visualise a brighter future.

In a survey by the Office of National Statistics in autumn 2012, between 31.1 and 34.4 per cent of people in the Rhondda were recorded as having low or very low life satisfaction, with levels of happiness at similar levels. It paints a bleak picture, but the findings will have come as no surprise to Dan Zdzieblo, who works with Genesis to provide child care, parenting skills and personal development opportunities to young parents who feel under pressure. He knows the Valley and the problems faced by the people living there all too well, particularly those new to parenthood. “I always thought having a child would be quite empowering, but I have found it can knock parents’ confidence to the ground,” he says. “These mums are often at rock bottom after having children, especially if they are single parents – it’s to do with the isolation and often leads to depression.”

The Genesis programme’s first task is to build the confidence of young mums (and sometimes dads). This is done though a series of coaching, art therapy, and positive psychology sessions that develop emotional resilience, helping participants to better manage their anger and frustrations. Mild depression is a reoccurring issue for many parents, but through these activities they can reach a new vantage point from which to view their lives and move forward. The message that social integration begins with building parents’ confidence is equally relevant to schools, which have a pivotal role to play in the wellbeing of the community – for better or worse. There will always be parents whose own experience of education was less than idyllic. They arrive at the gate with negative preconceptions, while difficulties at home may mean they are wary of professionals, even if a teacher is just doing her job.

While many schools have good relationships with parents, it’s always worth considering to what degree communication extends beyond sending home the odd letter; there are dividends for those practising an emotionally intelligent approach that welcomes engagement. For Dan, nothing works as well as being prepared to actively listen to a parent. “It’s about talking to mums under pressure and breaking down the barriers.”

If a child has learning difficulties, this too can exacerbate the gap between home and school. This was a hot topic of conversation at the Genesis seminars as many parents’ children had been identified as being on the autistic spectrum, or displaying behaviours symptomatic of ADHD. Mums and dads felt as though teachers did not always do enough to recognise their child’s needs and this had created tension: “Why is it that my child who needs support sometimes has to wait for months or even longer for speech therapy or learning support in the nursery?”

Happier parents and better mental health is important, but the ultimate goal of the Genesis project is to help mums return to education or employment.

However, most courses and jobs take place from nine in the morning through to the late afternoon, which means attendance is impossible without affordable and accessible childcare. Again, this is where schools can make a difference by offering extra-curricular programmes where parents can do courses from literacy through to cookery, with a family room on site.

Crucially, if schools can understand the pressures affecting some of their poorest families, they will find parents become more effective allies in improving outcomes for their children. Returning to Sam, the confidence she discovered through the Genesis project has not just rekindled her interest in adult learning – inspiring her to enrol on a computer course and undertake a food hygiene certificate to support her specialist cake business. It has also meant she feels ready to take a more active role in her child’s education: “When my daughter’s school asked for parent volunteers, I offered to do reading with the juniors. I wouldn’t have done that before.”