Dream Jobs

We like to tell children that good grades lead to gainful employment. But what if it isn’t that simple, asks Mike Davies...

If you’re my mother, I don’t want you to worry, but I’ve been looking for jobs that don’t require any qualifications. As we’re constantly told, and recruitment websites confirm, there are plenty of good jobs out there. The question is: do you need to have good qualifications to get one?

“Yes, obviously,” you might say, and the powers that be would no doubt agree. After all, who can remain unaware of the ‘new’ emphasis on rigour? As we turn our schools into battery farms for attainment data, everything is geared towards churning out 16 year olds with an impressive collection of GCSEs.

But maybe the question is not as straightforward as it first seems. What is a good qualification anyway? GCSE? NVQ? A level? Degree? Or is it whatever makes your parents proud? Even within higher education, there is a clear hierarchy. All degrees are not created equal: an upper second from Footlights College Oxbridge will always outrank one from Scumbag College, as fans of The Young Ones will remember fondly. In a previous life, I once helped to do a pre-sift of applications for banking jobs, and I remember feeling devastated for the many hopefuls whose CVs would not be read beyond the name of the university.

For that matter, what is a good job? The one that pays better? The one that demands more advanced qualifications? Next time you need a professional in an emergency, ask yourself who gets paid more for a call-out in a crisis: a plumber or a clinical psychologist? In case you need a clue, it was the same answer even before the NHS decided to shred our mental health system.

And don’t talk to me about ‘vocation’. It’s so offensive to hear people smugly assert that you don’t need to pay teachers, nurses, etcetera too much because the job is reward in itself. Have you ever met any bankers, corporate lawyers or accountants who enjoy their jobs any less than the rest of us? Me neither.

Consider the Mastic man. Having spent over seven years qualifying as an architect, my brother often spends time on building sites solving problems and dealing with difficult clients. Meanwhile, the Mastic man flits around, earning £100 per hour, working only half the year and holidaying in Barbados. His special talent? Squirting sealant around bathrooms, albeit more neatly and quickly than anyone else.

If, like me, you found that rather depressing, and are beginning to wonder why we bother with qualifications, let’s cheer ourselves up with a good dose of high-flying role models. Take, for example, Simon Cowell, Richard Branson, Alan Sugar, Philip Green and John Major – they all have jobs to which we can aspire. Most of them have knighthoods, for goodness sake. But wait a minute! They also don’t have a single A level between them.

Alright, alright, so those are exceptions, but, generally speaking, higher qualifications suggest greater relevant specialist knowledge, don’t they? Doctors have studied medicine; accountants have studied accountancy; our education ministers have studied, er, history (Gove) and PPE (Truss). Yes, I know – higher education also reflects a higher standard of thinking, which is important for a top position, provided, of course, that you listen to advisors who do have relevant knowledge and experience. Hmm!

Nevertheless, I assume Mr Gove would maintain that good qualifications, especially vocational qualifications, should lead to good jobs. So imagine the mental contortions he must be enduring to promote the idea that teachers do not need to be qualified. (Unless, of course, he’s suggesting that teaching isn’t a good job, which, to be honest, he has been working on.)

Given Mr Gove’s entertaining outburst about the Prime Minister’s ridiculous Etonian inner sanctum, it would seem churlish to suggest he is just trying to protect the private education sector for ideological reasons. However, that does remind us of what other factors count in the employment market. As well as the right qualifications, getting a good job involves having the right experience, making a good impression and, sadly, knowing the right people.

These days, a further factor is gaining importance: those CV-burnishing extra-curricular activities. Many feel it’s not enough to have top grades; you need musical proficiency, sporting accolades and membership – preferably leadership – of a range of clubs and societies. Am I alone in thinking that’s a little sad? Maybe, one day, having had a free, experimental and explorative childhood will be seen as desirable as any Far East-style competitive culture.

Ultimately, nothing is certain. Just as being healthy won’t guarantee longer life, better qualifications don’t automatically lead to a better job; they just improve your chances. But maybe that’s enough reason to study hard for your exams.

About the author

Mike Davies is an experienced teacher, children’s author and parent. His books include Lousy Thinking (Live It Publishing).