Assertive behaviour management

In the dark corners of the playground, the law of the jungle applies and there are times when your voice needs to be heard. Just don’t bite anyone’s head off, says Paul Dix...

There is a corner of the school that you have still not fully explored. It is not that you fear ‘the old shelter’, it is just that the older boys hang out there and they are not particularly welcoming. Many of the trickier customers in year 6 have curated comebacks that experience teenagers would be proud to use. They huddle around secreted mobile phones, laughing for attention, jockeying for position in the hierarchy. They are the biggest fish in a small pond and they relish their status. Individually each child is lovely to talk to, but collectively the boys are tricky to manage. They bounce banter off one another in well-rehearsed rituals.

Today the boys have gone too far and you need to intervene. They have taken a tennis ball from one of the year 5s and gentle teasing will soon escalate into all out war if it is not nipped in the bud. As you approach the group, you know you need to be careful about how you intervene…

How do you respond?

A: Shock and awe

Don’t wait until you get there. Call to the group and warn them to stop as you run over. Use the power of you voice to put an immediate stop to their poor behaviour.

B: Soft and gentle

Calmly move over to the group and use some non-verbal cues to redirect the children and move everyone apart.

C: Nasty and nice

Use different shades of your assertiveness to bring the children to order and then diffuse the situation. 

If you chose…

A: Shock and awe

Your first attempt at shouting across the playground doesn’t go well. None of the children in the group even look up, but you have managed to make three year 1 boys cry. As you run towards the group shouting, the rest of the children stop playing and start watching. You arrive at the group of boys just in time, if a little out of breath. Your blood is up and you let loose on two children immediately, sending them to sit on the bench of shame. As you do, there is an instantaneous chorus of complaint from both groups of boys. You recognise that chorus. You have heard it before and it usually means you have called it completely wrong. Nonetheless you are determined to break up the party and send the four loudest complainers to the four corners of the yard for their troubles. They move but continue to argue, so you unleash the extreme range of your voice with, “SAY ANTOHER WORD AND I WILL TAKE YOUR BREAK AWAY FOREVER!” As the rest of the children disperse, a furious delegation emerges and declares they are off “To see the ‘ead”. Turning to return to your duty, you see a confused and anxious audience of younger children. They look as though they have lost their innocence, others look anxious – frightened, even. What is certain is they will forever refer to the incident as ‘the day Miss blew a fuse’.

Talking behaviour

Is there anything wrong in shouting across the playground?
How can you stop an audience forming to watch an incident play out?
How do you climb down if you sense that you have made a bad call?

B: Soft and gentle

You head over to the group of boys without making a fuss. By the time you get there, someone has been pushed and two boys have grabbed each other. You try to move some of the less involved children away with non-verbal cues. It works beautifully and parts of the group slowly step back. Unfortunately, the children at the centre of the action have not even noticed you have arrived. As you work your way towards the main protagonists, a punch is thrown and it kicks off. The children who have stepped back step in again, and children are hurt. You have no idea who started it, but no one has any intention of stopping it. You shout but now cannot be heard and it is not until the year 6 teacher and site manager step in that order is restored. Your reputation has not been enhanced by your inability to manage the group. Your pride has also been dinted. As you wade through the paperwork that results from breaktime, you resolve not to journey alone into the dark corners of the playground again.

Talking behaviour

When are non-verbal cues most effective in managing behaviour?
When should you call for help when dealing with a potentially violent incident?
Is it alright to let someone else deal with the year 6 boys in future?

C: Nasty and nice

Without calling out, you move quickly but calmly over to the group. The volume of your “STOP” is a surprise to you, let alone the year 6 boys. Other children stop as well; in fact, most of the playground does. You move into the centre of the group and stand right next to the two boys who have hold of each other. Immediately dropping your voice, you tell the children to “Let go and step back”. To be fair, they had already started letting go when they realised that you were coming to stand next to them. The playground audience cannot hear what is going on and go back to their pursuits. A manky tennis ball is produced from an unlikely, if not wholly hygienic, place and offered to you. Part of you wants to be disgusted and angry. Most of you just wants to laugh. You go with the latter and the tension of the moment is broken. You ask the two boys in the centre of the action to come and talk to you and ask the rest of the children to line up. There is still some investigative and restorative work to be done, but the incident has been diffused before it detonated.

Talking behaviour

When is it right to shout?
Is it appropriate to use humour to diffuse a potentially violent incident?
What is the conversation that you have with the two boys now?

Which approach did you use?

A: RoboCop

To be in control of a group of children you must first be fully in control of yourself. Rushing in and shouting the odds might feel like the right thing to do, but there are dangers lurking. The ripple of anxiety that runs through every child in the playground and the three crying year 1s results in an ugly, unnecessary scene. Better to send a child for another adult and make a quick plan that doesn’t rely on the force of your temper.

B: SilentCop

You need to choose the right strategy for the right moment. Non-verbal cues are highly effective in a classroom environment and for redirecting low-level behaviours. In the playground they can also be great for adjusting behaviour, but not in a situation where urgent action is required. Sometimes raising your voice is the right thing to do.

C: FairCop

Your shouting is brief, controlled and has a specific purpose. In the gap it creates you can quickly use your physical presence to get to the heart of the problem. Sometimes the lion needs to roar.

About the author

Paul Dix is lead trainer at Pivotal Education, which offers online and live behaviour training. Contact .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) about how Pivotal can support your school. Join the conversation on Twitter @PivotalPaul